Eddie Howe: Newcastle United have their man to lead them out of the Championship – The Warm-Up
TUESDAY’S BIG STORIES
Howe-ay the lads
Newcastle appoint Howe as new manager
19 HOURS AGO
The average shelf life of a Newcastle manager under the new ownership consortium is one game, from an unavoidably reliable sample size of one bloke called Steve. Which means when Howe is dismissed after defeat to Brentford straight after the international break, and Alan Shearer and Nobby Solano have had a go, they could be onto the Geordie Shore cast by Christmas.
All of this is, of course, rather unfair on Howe. He put an attractive spin on the Sean Dyche model of keeping a sub-standard squad in the Premier League, season after season. Until he didn’t. But ignoring that final campaign at Bournemouth, and his short-lived affair at Burnley, he is unfairly underrated after he did a Football Manager job on the south coast.
But can he replicate it on Tyneside? His job interview inevitably went along the lines of: “See Callum Wilson and Ryan Fraser, struggling for form? They were mine once. And like the Elder Wand in the hands of the wrong wizard, it was never going to work under dear Steve. And if it all goes really, really wrong, I know how to take a team from League Two to the Premier League.”
Assuming the owners are lenient and Howe gets the season, can they really avoid the drop? They are already five points from safety and, while Allan Saint-Maximin would be enough to keep most sides in the division, we’re not sure that applies to Newcastle. It’s not simply a case of waiting until January and buying their way out of trouble. Who wants to move up north in winter to a team who could very conceivably have away days at Peterborough next season? Urr, what’s that? You’ll pay us £300,000 a week? Ah. Sign us up then.
Overall, it’s a good time to be a fan in the North East. It’s only a matter of time before Iran’s wealthiest family swoops in and buys Sunderland, adding some Middle East spice to an already bitter rivalry, only for them to wheel out another Netflix documentary that charts their latest failure to get out of League One with a £200 million strike partnership.
Eddie Howe übernimmt bei Newcastle United
Image credit: Getty Images
England Smith Rowe
November 4: “Emile Smith Rowe, Conor Gallagher, Marc Guehi are all playing very well for their clubs, but we’ve got depth.”
November 8: The depth ran out.
We wish the Croydon De Bruyne luck, but we’re not going to fall into the Arsenal hype trap again. We all know it will last two months, then he’ll slide into the Sanogo Zone, forever living off those four goals in the Emirates Cup. Mikel’s at the wheel and it definitely isn’t going to fall apart when they head to Anfield after the international break. Nope, nothing can go wrong.
Thousands of Barcelona fans went through the same routine on Monday morning. “Hi boss, yep… was up all night. Not feeling great at all. Best I take the day to recover.” And then funnelling into Camp Nou to wave flags and celebrate the return of one of their most famous sons.
Xavi is back in Catalunya. Has he picked a good time? They’re ninth in La Liga and in with a good shout of reaching the Champions League knockout stages, with expectations on the floor. Or has he picked a terrible time? They have no money, the team is gaffer-taped together by has-beens and the Champions League knockout stages only promise another humiliating defeat.
Still, his return was worth it just to see Barca president Joan Laporta’s voice finally breaking at the age of 59.
Xavi: Messi messaged to wish me good luck at Barca
IN OTHER NEWS
Dear Daniel Sturridge,
During lockdown, the Warm-Up found themselves among the many wondering ‘surely it can’t be that hard to cut my own hair’. And sure, we absolutely butchered it. But after getting the mistakes out of our system, we would be delighted to have another go. CV attached.
HEROES AND ZEROES
Heroes: Internacional players
We’re light of content on this brisk Tuesday morning, so let’s return to the weekend for two absolutely corking videos. Today’s heroes are Internacional players who decided to mock Gremio’s impending relegation by waving around cardboard coffins. Can’t wait to see these being wafted around at St James’ Park later in the season.
Zero: Stuart Attwell
You might think this is a bit unfair given he wasn’t even refereeing this weekend. But one fan wired himself up to the Goodison Park sound system to leave us in no doubt about Stuart Attwell’s crimes against football.
IN THE CHANNELS
“I’ll cause a distraction while you save his life.”
A nice healthy dose of the Women’s Champions League. Chelsea, Wolfsburg and PSG are all in action, but the pick of the matches is between two teams that could easily be Game of Thrones cities – Zhytlobud-1 v Breidablik.
The man, the myth, the legend, Marcus Foley is here tomorrow.
Xavi unveiled as new Barcelona boss, says high levels will be demanded
21 HOURS AGO
Xavi requests Barcelona make move for Sterling – Paper Round
06/11/2021 AT 23:01